Although traditionally it was primarily women who sought therapy, increasing numbers of men are now making use of psychologists and counsellors to help find ways of making things better. I am very experienced in working with men, but I also know how strange and uncomfortable  it can be for a man to  make contact and book an appointment, and then to come along to talk about things that are difficult. I am very used to finding ways of helping making these as easy as possible.

Male socialisation

One of the reasons why men often find coming for therapy difficult is that, as men, we are often taught to deal with things ourselves and not to admit 'weakness' or emotional upset of any kind.  In other words, we men are socialised into never asking for help  or admitting difficulty, which can be a real problem when things get tough and we need some support to help us make things better. Hence many men come to therapy feeling a bit embarrassed, and very often as a very last resort when things are really very bad indeed. Indeed, even in such circumstances, it is not uncommon for female partners to make the first appointment - which, of course, is fine so long as the man agrees!

Common Problems

Men experience the same range of difficulties and problems as women  although frequently use things like excessive drinking, drug taking, over-work, eating unhealthily, sexual addictions (e.g. significant use of internet pornography)  and other risky/self-harming behaviours to deal with unhappiness of one form of another.   

Working with Men

Although all men are very different in what they want and need from therapy, one of the common themes is a desire to feel that the therapeutic process has a specific goal/focus which is agreed and worked toward in a fairly direct way (of course, some men work better with the exact opposite!!). Cognitive methods (such as CBT techniques) are often popular because they provide this.  However, what must also be tackled is the acknowledgement of  the difficult feelings, such as low mood or anxiety, that are causing the problem in the first place. This can be a difficult and uncomfortable process, but is one I am very experienced in managing and supporting in an open and honest way.

I am always very happy to answer specific questions on any issues linked to the above by email - ewan@edinburghtherapy.co.uk